From abcnews.go.com
Amity Buxton, once married to a gay man until he came out to her, is now a powerful advocate for marriage equality:
“If gays and lesbians were allowed to marry someone of the same sex in the first place, out of love and truth and commitment, then there would be fewer divorces, such as we went through — stronger marriages, more lasting families, and more stable communities.”
In 1983, after 25 years of marriage and two children, Amity Buxton learned her husband’s long-held secret — he had “jilted” his gay lover to marry her. Her life was turned on its head.
“My moral compass was broken living someone else’s lie,” said Buxton, now 82 and founder of the Straight Spouse Network. “I didn’t know what was true or false. I couldn’t trust my own judgment … My identity was shattered.”
He left and she told the children, a daughter in high school and a son in college. It took years before her husband could tell his son he was gay.
Click to read more here
“If gays and lesbians were allowed to marry someone of the same sex in the first place, out of love and truth and commitment, then there would be fewer divorces, such as we went through — stronger marriages, more lasting families, and more stable communities.”
The church acts upon beliefs based on faith. Faith is beyond reason.
I like her motives and feel she’s heading in the right direction but she undermined her position by admitting she still relies upon faith. It’s impossible to reason with people who leave reason behind.
epic. it is a shame he had to live a lie so long. But major props to his wife
Exactly! Thanks for your comment.
I am a gay man who did the same thing. I tried to please God but ended up hurting my ex-wife so bad. I regret it and I wish could be straight and fix this. But I know the truth and so does she.
Thanks for sharing your story. I’m glad you were able to come out — congratulations. While we can’t change the past, now you can move forward with integrity. Best wishes!
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE THAT HER CONCLUSION IS TRUE RE: FEWER DIVORCES & THE MORE LASTING STABILITY OF MARRIAGE IF GAYS ARE PERMITTED TO MARRY LEGALLY!
Her own divorce would not have happened if her ex-husband had felt able to be true to who he was rather than feeling he had to live a lie.
Actually, there is. I don’t have the data at hand right now, and can’t afford the time to hunt for it, but there are stats out there showing that in states where gay marriage is legal the divorce rates are down, and that divorce rates are particularly low among gay couples. Also, kindly stop screaming. If you have to scream to be heard, you clearly have nothing significant to say.
Thank you!
I feel like saying something here. I’m 21 yrs now and came out at 20. Before then, I denied my attraction to men. I had only one girlfriend. It lasted for I think a week. I was (and still am) a Christian and believed in the Bible. I still have trouble knowing how all the pieces fit together. But I know this much, if I had been comfortable with who I was from the beginning, I wouldn’t have been so shy with people. Now, that being said, I do have a social disorder which makes it difficult. Also, because I never accepted the truth until I was in college, I probably avoided a whole lot of pain in high school. But through pain, we make ourselves stronger. Looking back on it all now, being who I am today, I probably would have chosen to come out. Mostly for myself, but also for those around me. All the earlier years of my life would have been way different. And I’m pretty sure that I would be different. And a lot of pain would have been avoided for other people.
Thanks for your comments — it sounds like you are doing a great job of realizing who you are and being honest about your true self!
To all those homophobes out there, be cool about it. They can’t help who they are. My real dad is against gays lesbians and bisexuals, and once he found out I was a lesbian he threatened to disown me. I am all for this movement, and I would gladly get my ass thrown in jail protesting for gay rights.
I am sorry to hear about your dad. Stay strong!
This is an awesome story! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for reading and watching the video. How wonderful at the age of 82 to be sending a message to the world like this.
I agree. Awesome story!
this is wonderful! and very inspiring
i loved my ex-husband but it just didnt feel right cuz i was hiding who i was….now im happily open and enjoying life
i used to be a lesbian but was pressured and pushed to be with a man so i was forced into relationships with men…..eventually i guess men grew on me cuz now im bi
You were probably always bi but it doesn’t matter…!
The important thing is to live an open and honest life that you can be proud of when you look in the mirror! Congrats.
My wife Alli and a straight friend started the Mitchell County Gay Straight Alliance in this very rural, religious (Baptist), conservative, Republican city of 354 people, (Western, NC); https://www.facebook.com/mitchellcountygsa. Our first meeting was met with 50+ protesters carrying signs and singin’ and prayin’, luckily a supporter waded into the crowd to video tape and record their comments, astounding stuff: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfUf56lTcKI. We recently concluded our second meeting to the bellows of religious protesters outside trying to disrupt our meeting. We drew the blinds and ignored them. There were 40 people at the meeting of which only 7 were gay. How ’bout that?
It’s difficult being out in a small town, especially being from a big one (Chicago), but we’re on a mission of visibility and equality and am surprised at the outpouring of support from friends and local Christians, (except for the bellowers outside)..check us out on fb and ‘like’ us please…
I LOVE HER! What a wonderful way to view what must have been a very painful experience for her.
She’s a gem, delightful seeing with heart felt compassion and action, wonderful!