Roses are red, violets are blue. If you’re gay here in Russia, you’re worse than a Jew.
Wealthy business owners- I mean- Political leaders in St. Petersburg proposed a bill that would silence any form of “gay propaganda.” This includes publicly declaring that you’re gay, bi, transgender, or even… lesbian. Say it isn’t so!
So according to Prim Minister Putin and President Medvedev, if you were a “Born This Way,” SHHH! No speak!
“We are perplexed by the American side’s attempts to interfere in the legislative process in Russia, especially publicly,” says Konstantin Dolgov. Russia’s Foreign Ministry’s Commissioner for Human Rights and- yeah whatever, he has money. Blah blah- moving on.
AMERICA: So, say if I were to have a foursome… and only one of our.. players was female, so to speak… would that be considered gay?
St. PETERSBURG: Hmmm… how big would you say the breasts?
AMERICA: Average. Still pretty good. Seen bigger.
St. PETERSBURG: Hmmm… and did you a happen to touch the breasts?
AMERICA: Just once, yeah.
St. PETERSBURG: Hmmm…
AMERICA: …I had my eyes closed the whole time…
St. PETERSBURG: …We’ll let this one a slide.
If the bill passes, which I sincerely hope it doesn’t, the fine of these “acts of indiscretion” will be from 1,000 rubles ($32) to 3,000 rubles ($100) for promoting pedophilia, which totally rides in the same boat as homosexuality. Lets hope they don’t rock it.
Lets give the officials in St. Petersburg a round of applause for gradually becoming the laughing stock of the world, because this joke made my day.
But it still saddens me that one of the biggest threats in our world is, and always will be, a moron with a pen.
THE END
-Drew Champagne
